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Abuse

M’s Story

Meiskie again here!
How is everyone doing?
I’ve been surprisingly okay lately, emotionally especially. Physically I’m doing better than usual, but I’ve gained a couple of problems already this year.
I suddenly got the urge to post something that will stay with you. I don’t know if it should be good or bad, but here goes nothing. I’m going to have a look-see around and see if I find anything. The rest of this post will be written when I’ve done that. Let’s hope it’s soon. It’s 17/02/2014. Let’s see when I publish this.
Okay, well… it’s now 18/02/2014.
First of all, I’d like to thank Zaracaz for all the laughs and good times we’ve had in the past 22 months.
Second of all… My best friend, M, is letting me publish her story. I believe that so far we haven’t had any domestic abuse stories on here… bullying, gender abuse and abuse received by your partner; but not from parents yet.
Well, M’s story is the first(?) one of that type that we’re publishing here. Obviously, it’s close to home for me, because it’s my best friend that this has happened too, and it makes me really angry, because I’ve slept over at her place and I thought that her parents were really nice. I was wrong. Her dad is really nice, but her mum doesn’t deserve to be called a mother.
I’ve asked M to write down everything that’s happened to her on a piece of paper and give it to me tomorrow, so I can publish the full story. I only know a few fragments of it, so I want to get the full story. So, I guess that tomorrow I will finish this blog post if I have time.
It’s 20/2/2014. Obviously, I didn’t have time yesterday. I don’t have much time today either, because I’ve got an exam tomorrow and I have to study… but first, I’d like to wish Z a very, extremely happy birthday today! And, if it’s your birthday today too, happy birthday to you!
I’m going to start M’s story now. I’m going to write it in third person, though I will have quotes from what she wrote(translated from Spanish to English).
M has gone through as much as I have, if not more. Her mum has bullied her for as long as she can remember, which is since she was about 4 years old. Her mum treated her like a mannequin, a doll, a toy to play with and then throw to the side when she got bored.
She bullied M mentally and physically, until M cried. Trust me, in the time that I’ve known her, I think she’s only cried once or twice. It takes A LOT to make M cry. Her mother hurt her that much.
M has got dark hair and dark skin, or at least darker than northern europeans, and her mum called her a lot of offensive names because of it. Gypsy, nigger, witch, etc. that caused M’s self-esteem problems and hyperhidrosis(which appeared from constant anxiety and nerves about what would happen to her). This was all during her infancy, and it affected her even more when her mum would hit her for no reason, go around saying that she was a bad daughter and making herself the victim.
M, up to 2 or 3 years ago, had a reaaaaaally low self-esteem. It was non-existent. Worse than mine, and my self-esteem was pretty damn low.
That wasn’t the worst part though. At school, M got bullied really badly, by everyone. And then, when she got home it would continue. Her mum blamed her for everything that went wrong, even when she hadn’t been around. One example is when dinner didn’t taste exactly right, or it wasn’t quite right because she was too lazy to do it properly, she blamed it on M.
-I feel so lazy, lazy, lazy! 6/03/2014-
She made M lonely, she shouted at her, she used her to get what she wanted, she said horrible things to her, she insulted her, she said that no one loved her,she said that no one could put up with her, M wasn’t allowed to play with anyone at that age, etc.
M had her human rights, but her mother took them away from her. She stole M’s stuff, she broke M’s stuff on purpose so that M didn’t have anything to play with, and she said that it was M’s fault that they broke. That’s not to mention all the bad situations she got M into by tricking her and setting her up.
When M was 9, she started developing her own character, she started to become herself, but her mum became jealous. Really, really jealous, just because M had her own personality and she didn’t, so she got even worse.
This is something M told me a few months ago:
When M was 7 or 8 years old, her mum and her had gone out to buy sweets together. M’s mum said that they would share half each.
M’s mum said to not eat the sweets before dinner, but she went and ate her half of the bag. Then M wanted to get just the one sweet, because her mum had eaten her’s and she didn’t know why she couldn’t have some, and M’s mum freaked. She took the bag of sweets away, grabbed M’s arm and pushed her against the corner of the table. M’s back got injured, and her mum just kept pushing her against the table, grabbed one of her legs and pushed it up further than it could go, so M’s leg also got injured. She kept M like that for a few minutes, using her own body to push her against the corner of the table, one hand holding her arm in a death-grip, and the other hand pushing her leg to a painful angle, far further than M’s flexibility allowed.

This last part is going to be a direct(translated) quote from M herself.
“One detail to let you get an idea of everything is that I was the pillar of strength that supported my family, I took all the pressure from the family, I had to fix the problems while I received extreme bullying at school(everyday I got home crying, I spent the hours at school alone while everyone insulted me and hit me. I’ve lost count of how many sprains, bruises and other injuries I had, all over my body.) and add to that everything my mother did to me. But, despite all that, I was always happy, smiling and everything(I don’t know how). A lot of teenagers say to their mums “I hate you” “Go to Hell” when they just try to help or they’re worrying. I say to my mum “I love you a lot” when she was the person that has caused me the most pain and problems. I don’t know what to think, maybe I’m weird or something…”

That is sad. It’s sad and painful and horrible, and no one should be treated that way by their mother, yet M still told her mum that she loved her.
I asked M why she didn’t report her mum to the police once. Her answer was that her mum is a bitch, and she’s not worthy of being called a mum, but she’s still her mum, and the only mum she’d ever have. That’s why she never reported her.

I haven’t got anything else to say, this is pretty much self-explanatory.
Please contact us if you want to tell us your story, ask advice or anything else at ourvoiceproject@hotmail.com
Z is also setting up a WordPress blog. I’ll start posting on there soon too.
Please take care of yourselves, remember that there are other people in your situation, there is always someone you can talk to and your parents are the only parents you’ll ever have. What M went through is really sad, but she still loves her mum. If she can still love her mum, we can all tell our parents that we love them, even if we do fight with them every once in a while.

We’re here.
xxxMeiskiexxx

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