Something that seems strange to adults…
Fellow chums and chummettes,
You must be getting annoyed with only receiving posts from me by now, but that’s because I’m always writing when a thought pops up in my head.
Anyway, I mentioned in my post called Anger that adults don’t understand us sometimes. They say they do, but they don’t give an example.
First of all… to any parents out there that are reading this:
As much as you want to help us, it’s hard to talk to you, and we don’t believe that you can relate to us in the first place, unless you give us a detailed example of the same thing happening to you. If your son(s) or daughter(s) shuts you out(of their bedroom or heads), sit down somewhere, with a cushion, and start telling them their story. Cheesy and stereotypical, but it works. We confide in people that share our story easier than people that haven’t… I don’t know why, so don’t ask.
Secondly, to my fellow teenagers:
Have you ever felt uncomfortable in your own skin?
Do you regret decisions that you’ve made?
Do you feel lonely nearly every moment of the day unless that special person that makes you happy is around? (Special person can be a family member, a friend, a boy/girlfriend, a dog, a cat, any kind of pet, etc.)
Has an adult ever told you that you cause all of this on your own?
Has an adult ever said that you should go and talk to people, to stop being alone?
Have you ever stood (sometimes in the rain) watching people talk to their friends and family and thought to yourself “I wish I had that” or “I’m happy that they’re happy”?
Do you actually prefer blending into the background?
MY answers to these questions are:
Yes, even as I”m writing this, I feel like ripping off my own skin and becoming someone new.
Yes, some not so important, like throwing that glittery pen away(for example), or more important, like getting jealous over stupid things which result in a massive hooha. (I’m not selfish, but I’m possessive of what I do have… I’m sure some of you are the same. Yes, I used to own a glittery pen, and yes, I threw it away. ‘hooha’ means, uhm… mess. Kind of. I think.)
Yes. I’m lucky I have 3 special people and 1 cat to make me feel happy every day, and my family when I visit them. They always make my day and week in some way, even with something stupid. On the days that I feel really depressed, just them making me kind of laugh makes my day.
Yes. I can make a list of adults who have told me to get over myself, that my own attitude causes all the rest of it, yadda, yadda, yadda… All it does is annoy me and ruin my day, and they wonder why I get snappy, which makes me feel like smacking my head into a wall sometimes.
The past week alone I’ve heard from 4 people, one not even an adult, to stop being so ‘antisocial’ and go and talk to people. Quote, “By being uncomfortable in yourself, you send that message out to other people and they don’t talk to you. You have to talk to them to become comfortable.”, end quote. Uhm, no, I don’t. They were the ones who made me uncomfortable with myself in the first place, so I’m not going to be comfortable around them, ever.
Just because you’re comfortable around certain people, doesn’t suddenly mean that your uncomfort with yourself has gone. Hell no. Even when I’m around the people I can trust, that I’m myself around, that I’m comfortable around, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. But they make me happy, and let me forget about it temporarily, or make me feel better about it if I tell them, so it’s okay. It’s manageable. Making me go and talk to people, people that hate and ignore me, isn’t making me feel any better.
This whole rant is a bit boring, I know… But I’m sure some of you readers have either agreed with me or nodded your heads at some point.
It isn’t weird or strange that we don’t feel comfortable, some people really don’t like being around other people. Can the adults that read this accept that? Remember, you only have to accept, not understand. The people we want to tell our story to… they are the ones we want to understand us. The rest, we just want acceptance.
If you see me standing somewhere with my back to a wall or in a corner, don’t come over to tell me to go and talk to the group of bitchy girls that are standing there laughing at me, just smile and keep walking, or do a quick stop to ask how I am, nod to my reply and walk away(and even that’s a stretch.). I think some of the teenagers reading this agree, that’s all we want. To be left alone unless we approach you.
If any of you have ever read Stieg Larsson’s Millenium series, and you know Lisbeth Salander, you’ll see and extreme version of how we are. We each have our reasons for staying quiet, for standing in a corner, for preferring to watch instead of participating. And no, this isn’t only the ’emos’, ‘goths’, ‘punks’ or whatever the hell else people have labelled them, that I’m going on about, this is about the girl or boy that you don’t notice, because he or she is quiet and doesn’t talk as much as you do, that might wear the exact same clothes as you do, but still don’t notice. Wake up, yawn and open your eyes to reality and your surroundings…
Another message to the adults:
It’s not weird, it’s not strange. It’s completely and utterly normal to feel uncomfortable.
Thank you for reading this, and, as usual, you can contact us via e-mail and MSN:
We want to help, we’re here to listen to you. You could even send us hate mail if you feel like it. We don’t mind…